Having a second baby with a toddler?
I was happy to put up an exhibition of my products. I was elated as I was able to start my work again in whatever little time I had now. Now I don’t have to plan days in advance to go out with my 3-year-old son. Now I get time to watch movies or go for long walks alone. I was happy thinking about the trip with my son to Pondicherry. I had already started planning for our next trip. But then ” Oh Again! Oh Yes wow! No, not now! Oh, I am pregnant again! Thousands of thoughts came to my mind.
My husband and I had thought of 2nd child. I had a hard time trying to conceive the first one. Taking medications, hormones injection, regular visits to the doctor, monthly sonography.. !!It was taking a toll on me. I didn’t want to go through the same process again for the 2nd time. But then this time I easily conceived. It was planned but unexpected I would say.
Having only one child was also fine with us. But the thought of what will happen to our son if/when we are not there? Both my husband and I have siblings. The bond shared between siblings is above friends and parents. My son also started asking for a baby. There are many ifs and buts, pros and cons of having a child or 2nd child. It is everyone’s personal decision.
I have friends and cousins who are happily married for years and don’t have any kids nor do they plan to have any. Some have one child and wish to have another but can’t due to various reasons. This dilemma of having kids or how many or not to have is never-ending.
The arrival of a new member in the family can be a difficult transition for older children if not prepared in advance. Integration of a new baby into the family can create an emotional crisis for children. If you have planned for a 2nd baby or you just discovered that you are going to be parents again, it is better to involve your elder one in your pregnancy journey right from the beginning.
Here are few points which I would love to share that helped me in having a second baby with a toddler:
1) Try to know/ understand what they feel about babies in general.
Ask them would they want someone to play with or share their toys? My son would get excited whenever he sees a baby. He would tell me “mama I want a baby”.This was one great positive factor for us
2) Take them to your doctor’s visit and scans.
I would take him every time with me for all my doctor`s visits and sonography and before going for sonography I used to tell him that today we are going to look at the baby and see what is the baby doing inside( is the baby sleeping, or is the baby dancing or is the baby doing potty). This would make him laugh and curious.
3) Let them talk to your unborn child
I would ask him to talk to the baby. Let him ask questions.
4) Keep telling them that they will become Big brother/Sister of the baby. With that, they will have to change the baby’s diapers, apply cream, make them sleep, etc.
5) Let them choose or take their opinion before buying something for the baby.
6) Let the father or other members of the family take charge of the elder one.
E. g dropping or picking up from school/bus stop, taking bath, feeding them, making them sleep without you.
Tell me moms who have 2 children what did u do? Would love to hear from you.
You can also read: 5 Best Books on Pregnancy